it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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