3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
