This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
