His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
