Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
