I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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