I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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