hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
