I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
