Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
