So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
