Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
