I just threw up on my dentist
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The best revenge is premature balding
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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