Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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