3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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