she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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