I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
