At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
