just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
