You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I believe in your delicious
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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