I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
