I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
