he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
