In the future we'll all be gay
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
