Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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