there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
