Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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