Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
