I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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