He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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