screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
