Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
