I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
