i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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