I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
