Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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