BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
