Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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