i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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