I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
