I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
