glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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