I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
