Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
