Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
