Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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