When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
