wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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