You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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