How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
