Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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